Published by Tranquebar Press / John Murray, 2013, 248 pages

This is a travel book with a difference. Sally Howard takes us on a journey through the sexual mores of India, with all the contradictions. The civilization that gave us the Kama Sutra and the Khajuraho carvings has become a conservative society with double standards. But India has always been a country of paradoxes—a place that has space for wildly differing attitudes and peoples.

Each chapter starts with a quote from the Kama Sutra, which links the past and the present throughout the book. Howard starts with a visit to the Khajuraho temples—built between 950 and 1150—with carvings of seemingly impossible sexual positions. For years, the temples were known just to the locals (the British arrived in the 19th century). Can you imagine Victorian British men stumbling across these erotic carvings in the middle of an Indian forest?

Howard travels through India with Dimple, a 32-year-old BIG (Bad Indian Girl), who walked out on an unhappy arranged marriage and is now a single mother. (A Good Indian Girl, or GIG, is expected to stay in her marriage, no matter how unhappy or abusive.)

This is a book of surprising encounters. In Gujurat, an openly gay maharaja has started a retirement home for gay and transgender people, including hijras (now recognized as a third gender, with rights) or eunuchs. In Shillong in the northeast, Howard and Dimple talk to a man from the Khasi tribe, a strongly matriarchal society in which women make the major decisions. Not surprisingly, the men are feeling marginalized, a feeling which is familiar to a lot of women, and not just in India!

As an Indian who has been out of the country for a long time, I found this book an eye-opener. Some of these things I did know about, but others were a complete surprise. I found the change in attitudes gave me reason for optimism, in spite of the backlash. Women are starting to fight back and stand up for their rights, as is the gay community. There are anti-“Eve-teasing” (a euphemism for sexual harrassment and groping) flash mobs on the Delhi metro. Not to mention the country-wide demonstrations after the horrific rape in Delhi in 2012. It will take a long time for attitudes to undergo a significant shift but the cracks are showing.

This review first appeared on Women on the Road.